In these dark times one question keeps rolling around in my head searching for answers amongst all of the uncertainty, what happens now? Literally, what happens now? Once again we find ourselves in another lockdown and I find myself stuck inside my house with my face illuminated by the screen of my phone as I scroll through photos of the past – 1 year ago, six months ago, hell even 6 weeks ago things looked better than they did now… I hate sitting on the sidelines helplessly waiting. Waiting for work, waiting for clarity, waiting for purpose, waiting to resume, waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.
6 weeks ago I didn’t feel that. Out in the wide spaces of Scotland trudging around in billowing parka coats in the Autumnal sunshine, I felt like doing nothing was totally ok. For once I didn’t want the days to hurry along blending into one other so that the nightmare would be over. Thats the thing about about the light, everything seem better in the sunshine, it’s less scary when you can see everything for what it is. And in that moment I was just a person on holiday not affected by a global pandemic. But I can’t help but feel silly now that we have returned to lockdown that something so fleeting means so much to me both mentally and physically.
I guess I still don’t have an answer to my question and probably won’t know what happens now for a while but maybe knowing that this is just temporary or maybe it is the news of a potential vaccine, but I actually feel like the future looks bright once again just as it did then in that moment on a hill in Scotland… Only this time for all of us.
Coat Loewe, knit Dries Van Noten, trousers Uniqlo, sunglasses Bloobloom
